Being in a relationship is very reassuring, knowing that you’re loved, treasured and cared for. Unfortunately, many relationships go wrong at one point or the other. The fear of loneliness is likely to make you stay and keep hoping that things will get better. What you may not realize is that you’re better off alone than in an unhealthy relationship. Staying in a negative atmosphere will eventually affect not only you but your partner as well. The effects will manifest in due time.
Individuals in unhealthy marriage often feel rejected, unworthy and can even end up depressed. The low self-esteem inflicted by the relationship spreads to other areas of life and is evident in your job and interactions with friends and family members. You end up lacking motivation or energy for life in general.
Unhealthy relationships do not just occur overnight. There are various signs that should raise the red flag in any relationship. Once you spot any of these signs, you should take conscious measures to bring your relationship back on track. Here are some of them:
1. Communication Breakdown
Partners should speak freely and share opinions, ideas, desires and so on. All these should be communicated in a respectful and caring manner while being mindful of each other’s feelings. When this is not taking place, there is a problem. Communication is a vital ingredient in the establishment and growth of a strong relationship. It enables the partners to enjoy the warmth of being part of something bigger and better. If your relationship is struggling in this area, learn the rules of good communication and work towards initiating constructive dialogue with your partner. Even where the other party is unwilling to respond, you can still make consistent effort and finally break the ice.
2. Taking each other For granted
When one partner feels that he/she is doing too much work without the other lending a hand, a feeling of being taken advantage of creeps in. At this point you hardly ever spend any meaningful time together, and it’s no secret that the good times are fading away. The solution here is to open up about your sentiments and make your partner understand the kind of thing that would make you feel loved , treasured and appreciated. Go out of your way to make your partner feel the same. Do not let one person be over-burdened with responsibilities. Learn to help in other in every way, from finances to house chores.
3. Decline in Intimacy
This is a very common sign of a relationship on the rocks. Every healthy and loving relationship has vibrant intimacy that is not limited to the bedroom. Simple gestures like touching, cuddling and holding hands can go a long way. If your relationship is lacking intimacy, make deliberate effort to reignite the flame and bring back the good old times. Look for creative ways to make the experiences special and out of the norm. You can visit new places, take up common hobbies, redecorate your house or just anything else to beat the stagnation. New experiences can go a long way in bringing dwindling intimacy back on track.
4. Lack of Support in Personal Growth
Both partners in a relationship must feel supported in the effort of developing themselves. The very essence of coming together should be the common belief that two are better than one, and thus should enable you reach places that you would not have made it on your own. None of you should feel like you’re being hindered from pursuing and developing your hobbies, skills or talents. The remedy here is to offer support both for shared and individual goals. Point out the talents and strong areas in each other and work towards developing them.
The good news is that an unhealthy relationship can be amended. The secret lies in commitment and working together to ensure that your union brings out the best in both of you. Speak openly of your concerns as a couple before the negative effects catch up with you. These steps can transform a previously rocky relationship into one full of love and mutual understanding , and looking forward to bigger things. And every time you come across a troubled couple; you can confidently say “I was there, and I learnt how to get over a long term relationship breakup“.